TITLE:    ALLIENE 
AUTHOR:   ABIGAIL LEIGH 
E-MAIL:   littlemiss_spookymulder@hotmail.com 
RATING:   G 
CATEGORY: Scully/Doggett friendship. 
CLASSIFICATION:  Vignette

DISCLAIMER:  All characters from the X-Files belong the Chris 
Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting.

SUMMARY:  Doggett contemplates his place in Scully's life now 
that Mulder is gone.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Alliene is German for 'Alone'.

XXXXXXXXXX

She has always stood strong; this is something he fully knows. 
Even during the hard times, the only times he was there for her, 
she stood silent. Even during the hardest. This time.

He watches her from across the room, too afraid to try and offer 
comfort to his partner, who stands near the simple casket. Her eyes 
are closed, a sure sign that she is trying not to cry. But why 
shouldn't she? For the only times he's ever seen her cry, she cried 
for him.

Even now she stands with perfect posture, head held high, hands 
clasped over a swollen stomach, no doubt feeling the life within 
her. A life that she herself must care for, who will never know its 
father.

Not, he muses, that anyone really knows. In fact, he's not quite 
sure that she knows, although she'd count her former partner any 
day.

She moves now, he notices, to the casket, and lifting a hand, tries 
to unlock it. She wants to see him, and although she's not supposed 
to, he does not try to stop her.

As she lifts the lid, he wonders fleetingly is she feels the same way 
he did at his son's wake. He remembers it as if it was yesterday: the 
almost blissful silence, the teary eyes of his now ex-wife, even the 
feeling of numbness that had invaded his senses. And somehow, he 
hopes that she is feeling blank as well, if not for her, for him, so 
that he will be more familiar with her pain. After all, he knows, 
comfort is best expressed through experience.

She simply stares into the casket, mouthing silent words to a dead 
crusader he never really knew. For this he is regretful, for he 
couldn't understand their love. Polar opposites attract, and they 
were a prime example.

He'd heard the story, many times. An intense partnership, illicit 
affair, and a love child, or so the rumors said. Not that he was one 
to judge or look down upon another. But seeing the display she'd 
made of herself since his disappearance, he's begun to believe that 
there is a grain of truth in the stories.

In a simple, excruciating moment, he contemplates whether or not 
she could ever care for him as much as he has come to care for her. 
He knows it's wrong, that her allegiances lie with the man in the 
coffin...and yet he wonders what it would be like to hold her, to 
comfort her in ways that he will only imagine.

Obviously finished with her message, she takes one last look and 
closes the coffin, turning back to face him. The strength has 
returned to her eyes, this he can see. She straightens and walks to 
him, a question on her face.

"Are you all right? You were staring off," her voice is professional, 
emotionless, and he sees that she seems to be staring off as well.

"I'm okay," he answers quietly. "You'll be okay too. He's safe 
now." The words are gentle, and he believes his statement to be 
true.

She doesn't acknowledge his reply, although she has heard it. She 
only gives a tiny nod and turns back to the casket, her eyes glazing 
over. He swears that she mouths 'I love you' to her departed 
partner, and as he follows her out the door, it is then that he begins 
to understand what he will never have.

There is a time in each person's life, he realizes, when they are 
alone. This is her time. It is also his.

THE END.