Title:   The Sophie Diary 
A Companion to the Ashlie Diary 
Author:  Abigail 
E-MAIL:  littlemiss_spookymulder@hotmail.com 
Rating:  PG 
Category: MSR 
Keywords: Character Deaths, Angst, Other POV 
DISCLAIMER:  All characters from the X-Files belong the Chris 
Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting.

Summary: There is an angel for everyone.

Xxxxxxx

"...are the tragic young born again when the world's not looking? I 
want to believe so badly; in a truth beyond our own hidden and 
obscured from all but the most sensitive eyes...In the endless 
procession of souls... in what cannot and will not be destroyed. I 
want to believe we are unaware of God's eternal recompense and 
sadness. That we cannot see His truth. That that which is born still 
lives and cannot be buried in the cold earth. But only waits to be 
born again at God's behest... where in ancient starlight we lay in 
repose." (Closure)

I sit here, bored out of my mind yet again. I've been this bored for, 
oh, about three months. Ever since my child, Fox Mulder, had to 
leave his one true love, Dana Scully. Since I'm his protector, his 
guardian that meant I had to leave too. I had to leave the one 
person I could talk to, Ashlie. She's twelve, and I'm only seven. 
She used to teach me things, but now she can't anymore.

So here I've sat, my ghostly body tired and sick of this, for what 
seems like forever. Even Mulder seems to be getting bored. He 
keeps twiddling his thumbs and writing in a notebook, as he 
nervously looks out the window. It's nothing new. I've watched 
him do this for three months, so there's nothing for me to do but 
hope that night will come so both he and I can get some rest.

Daytime is the worst in this cold, tiny apartment we call home, 
mostly because Mulder never knows what's going to happen. At 
least at night he has some protection, from his contact.

You see, the reason he had to leave was that he was in danger, as 
was Scully and their son, William. He thought if he left, then 
everything would be all right. But neither of us really know. And 
I'm not sure I want to know. So we went someplace. Mulder 
doesn't know where it is, neither do I. All he knows is that he's 
really far away from Scully, and he can't go back.

When I was seven years old, in 1961, I was taken from my home 
and murdered, strangled. I remember floating up and seeing the 
man who hurt me, cutting a heart from the fabric of my favourite 
nightgown. I was the first victim, the sixteenth heart, just another 
sacrifice of a serial killer to his heathen father below. The police 
never found me, and to this day my desecrated body rests in peace 
in the cold, dark earth.

When I went to heaven, God gave me a child to watch over. Little 
Fox William Mulder. And I've been with him his whole life. But 
he doesn't know me, and he may never will. But that's okay, I don't 
mind. As long as I can protect him.

I'm really getting bored now. I can't see what Mulder is writing, so 
I strain to read the words. It kind of looks like a journal or 
something. It's just about how bored he is and how he wants to go 
home. Wow, maybe I should keep one. Then I could write about 
how bored I get. But wait...I can't touch a paper or pen. Stupid 
ghost body! I can't touch anything that's of the natural world, only 
the spirit one.

My neck starts to hurt a little, so I gingerly touch the burning red 
rope marks on my slender white neck. Forty-one years, and they 
still hurt. I can even almost feel a draft on the heart-shaped hole in 
my favourite flowered nightgown.

I wish I could ask him why exactly did he do it, why did he murder 
me. If only I could talk to people...then I would have had a chance 
some years ago, when I "helped" Mulder have dreams about other 
little girls like me. I led him to places, to the sixteen hearts. But not 
to me. Somehow I just couldn't. Good thing that my killer died, 
now if I want I can ask him why. Well, wait...I guess I can't. He 
went...down there, to the place I dare not mention. It's like if I did 
see him, I'd have to scream, "This isn't heaven! This is the other 
place!" Good thing I've never seen him...

Good. The sun's finally down. I'm watching Mulder fall asleep in 
his chair, all slumped over and making weird noises. Gross, and 
yet in a way adorable. But I have to wake him up and make him go 
to bed so he can get some real sleep. So, regretfully, I take his 
mind off Scully, and he wakes up. He stands up and goes to his 
bed, where he slumps down on it and starts sleeping. Well, at least 
I got him to the bed.

I push my brown curls out of my eyes and finally I have some free 
time. I close my lifeless, sparkleless green eyes and try to rest. My 
mind wanders, and I imagine the time when I will be taken away, 
to the heavenly starlight. When I will live again, a new person.  I 
want to sleep, but awakeness comes all to soon when there is a 
single pound on the door.

Mulder jumps a little and rolls off the bed when it sounds. He gets 
up all groggy and stumbles to the door. When he opens it I can see 
a letter sitting on the floor. It must be from the contact. I go up 
behind Mulder and watch as he reads the letter. Oh my god, it's 
telling him that it's safe. He can go home to Scully! The letter is 
only signed, 'X.'

I know it's perfect now, there can't be anything wrong. I can tell 
that Mulder knows it too. His face goes all happy and he looks 
really awake now. He jumps around for a few minutes. It looks like 
fun. Maybe I'll do it too. So while I'm jumping around with him, 
unnoticed, he finishes the last part of the letter that tells him to 
jump on the next train, boxcar 2997, to Scully's town. It's as easy 
as that. But he has to go tonight, I guess it's the only time he can go 
when it'll be safe.

He's all giddy and happy. He scribbles out a letter, I think to 
Scully. He chucks it into the mail slot, and then he packs a bunch 
of clothes and stuff. I guess this is our last time being in this cold, 
dark, poverty-stricken place. I'm going to miss it...what am I 
saying here? I can't wait to leave! I'll finally see Ashlie, and 
Mulder will have Scully. And all will be well. As Mulder and I 
leave, him closing the door behind him, I can't wait to start a new 
life...geez, I'm almost as happy as Mulder!

Later...

I sit down on the ground, watching Mulder, who's standing there 
nervously, wearing a trenchcoat and a hat, maybe so no one will 
know it's him. I'm looking around now, making sure no one's 
looking at him weird. Good, everything seems okay. Suddenly, 
Mulder tenses. I look where he's looking and there it is...car 2997, 
just waiting for us to jump on it. The train's moving pretty slowly, 
so it's easy for us to get on it.

Once we're in its confines, Mulder settles down in the dim light of 
the empty boxcar. I can hear a rustling in the only dark corner of 
the car. Something is wrong...very wrong. Mulder stands up very 
fast and looks toward the noise. It's like he read my mind.

We hear a voice. It says, 'Too trusting, much too trusting. I thought 
your motto was trust no one, Mr. Mulder. Guess everyone at the 
Bureau was wrong.'

It's a scary voice and it sends a chill down to the very bottom of 
my spine. Then I see it. The man, he looks familiar. I know I've 
seen his dark hair and beard, the glasses. Mulder know him too. 
'Kersh,' he whispers.

I see the gun in his hand, but Mulder sees it a moment too late. 
Before I can stop it, I hear the loud crack of the gun, and Mulder is 
on the floor.

A bullet hole burns deep in his chest, his eyes glaze over and he 
begins to take his last breaths. I need to help him, no one's here to 
help him. I'm screaming out over and over, 'Mulder, no...don't die 
Mulder.' While he's laying there, he whispers, 
'Scully...I...love...you...' then he takes his last breath on this natural, 
horrible world that has always been so cruel to him, hardly 
allowing him true happiness. Except for those last two days with 
Scully...they should have lasted forever. I can see his dead body 
now, with warm blood all over.

I'm choking back the tears, the sobs now, but I can feel them 
falling, everywhere, on me, on him...on him! My neck hurts again, 
and I go to feel the scars, but there is nothing there but my flesh. I 
can't feel the draft anymore. I'm going to live again.

I hear a voice behind me. It's Mulder, saying 'Thank you, 
Sophie...thank you.' I turn and I can see him now, his ghostly body 
somewhat resembling mine. And he sees me.

I am happier now, but the tears still come in rivers down my ashen 
face. He pulls me into a hug, and I can finally touch him and he 
can touch me. We're both crying now, my tears seeping into his 
gray T-shirt and his falling into my hair. Mulder picks me up and 
twirls me around, laughing.

'I hear his voice!' he exclaims. 'Scully's coming soon! To join me!'

'I know,' I whisper. 'I can hear it too.'

He stops whirling and says, 'I always knew you were with me. I 
just couldn't find the right words to say.' He hugs me again, his 
strong arms surrounding me and making me feel wanted, needed, 
protected, loved.

My tears flow more and more, as do his. We are no longer aware 
of Kersh, the body. We only see each other. I want to stay here 
forever, but I can feel myself leaving with each passing moment. I 
hug him once more, then pull away.

'I have to go now, Mulder. I just want to let you know, that now 
you will know true happiness, and you'll have everything you've 
ever wanted, and so much more.'

'I know,' he says. 'And I'm so grateful that I have the chance to 
know all of this.'

'Maybe you'll watch over me,' I say through my tears.

'I will,' he whispers in awe. 'I can still hear him. He tells me you 
can be my child, Sophie.'

'I'll look forward to it, Mulder,' I say quietly, the tears beginning to 
dry, leaving marks on my cheeks.

I know I'm close to leaving, because I can no longer hear my father 
in heaven's voice, and Mulder seems so very far away. All I can do 
is lift my pale white hand and wave goodbye to my child. Mulder 
waves, and then I can no longer see him. I can feel my spirit going 
to the starlight. As the world becomes a mixture of every shade of 
blue and gray, I know I will live again soon...Thank you my father 
above, thank you...

THE END