From: kvalentine84@hotmail.com
Date: 22 Sep 2003 17:18:21 -0700
Subject: [atxc-pi] NEW: Returning Forward (0/1)
Source: atxc

 
Title: Returning Forward 
Author: OKayVal 
Author Email: kvalentine84@hotmail.com 
Status: NEW - Standalone 
Size: 24k 
Rating: PG 
Archive at Gossamer: Yes to Gossamer/Ephemeral 
Category: Story , UST 
Pairings: Mulder/Scully Romance 
Spoilers: Through Season 5; tiny one for Small Potatoes 

Summary: Can looking back make you see what's right in front of you? 
 
Part 1
Please see part 0 (template) for warnings and summary.

Disclaimer:  I love these characters and the actors who portray them
but they belong to 1013, Fox and CC. I am just borrowing them for a
little while and will return them unharmed.  Not a penny will I ever
see from them.

"I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above"
-John Mayer, "Room for Squares"

***

"Hang on, Mom, let me just get my mail."

She pauses at the row of metal mailboxes while her mother waits.  She
unlocks the box marked "Scully, D." and pulls out the handful of
envelopes stuck inside.

"Anything interesting?" Mrs. Scully asks, eyeing the stack with a
mother's curiosity.

"Hmmm."  She flips through the envelopes, stopping on a bright yellow
one with a California return address.  "What's this?"

"Reunions Incorporated," her mother reads aloud, over her shoulder.

"Oh oh," she sighs in reply.

Inside the apartment, she bustles off to the kitchen to make some tea,
and her mother seats herself on the sofa.  The stack of mail remains
on the table and Mrs. Scully keeps her eye on that yellow envelope.  
The daughter returns with the steaming tea mugs and catches both her
mother's glance and the hint. She sets the mugs down, slides the piece
of mail from the pile and opens it.  It is an invitation to her high
school reunion.  Wow. When was the last time she has even thought
about high school?

"So will you go to this reunion?"  Her mother reads over her shoulder
again.

"Oh, I don't know.  I haven't seen any of those people in years."

"But Dana, that's the whole point."

"We'll see. It depends on work, too; I might be on a case then."

"Dana, you have to take some time for yourself."

"I know, Mom. I'll think about it."

She steers their conversation elsewhere, but the seed has been
planted.  She wonders idly where her yearbook is hiding.

***

It has not been a very good day.  All she wants to do is kick off her
shoes and think about nothing.  Of course just when she's all curled
up on the sofa, the phone rings.  Knowing it is either her mother or
Mulder, she answers it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Dana."

"Hi, Mom. How are you?"

"Ok. Are you ok? You sound tired"

"I'm fine, Mom. I am tired."

Her mother wastes no time getting to the point.

"Dana, did you decide about the reunion? Are you going to go?"

"Mom, I haven't had time to give it much thought. I'm not sure."

"I think it would be fun, and you know you could visit Bill and Tara
while you are there. You could use a vacation, Dana."

The mention of "vacation" suddenly makes the whole idea more
appealing.  Maybe it will do her some good to get out of here for a
while. That last case had been exhausting. Hell, most of her cases are
exhausting.  And it might be fun to see some of her old friends again.
She has lost touch with everyone.

"Will you bring Fox?"  Her mother's voice and the specific emphasis on
"Fox" snap her out of her reverie.

"What?  Why would he have any interest in going to my high school
reunion, Mom?"

"Well, most people bring their spouses to these things, so it's nice
to have someone to bring along if you're not married."

"Mom, are you trying to imply that I will look like some sort of
failure if I show up at my reunion as a single woman without a man?"

"No, it's not that, dear."

"And besides, Mulder wouldn't go if he thought I was using him as some
sort of prop."

"I don't think he'd see it that way.  You should ask him. He might
surprise you, Dana," her mother says.

Her mother's comment is the surprise.  She ponders the suggestion long
after their phone conversation has ended.

She lets several days go by without making any decision on the
reunion.  But the invitation sits on her desk, bright yellow and
beckoning.  One night she roots around in her closet and finds that
high school yearbook.  She spends the rest of the evening rereading
all of the inscriptions and trying to remember details about the
people who wrote them.  What's happened to them? Maybe she should go
to San Diego. And maybe her mother is right; bringing Mulder would be
sort of a safety net, just in case none of her old friends turn up and
she is left with nobody interesting to talk to.  She sets the yearbook
aside and decides it is time to bite the proverbial bullet and find
out if he will join her on this excursion.

***

She has been in the office for over an hour and she can't concentrate.  
She should be finishing this report and all she can think about is
inviting Mulder to go with her to California.  Why can't she just get
it over with? She puts her pen down in frustration and walks over to
Mulder's desk. As usual, he is completely absorbed in something
displayed on his computer screen.

"Mulder, can I ask you a favor?"

"Mmmm. Scully, did you know that the origins of many occult practices
can be traced to the original order of the Golden Dawn, all the way
back to 1887?"

"No, I had no idea. Mulder, are you listening to me? I want to ask you
a favor.  It's kind of silly and you're not obligated to say yes, but
I've decided to ask you anyway..."

He interrupts her. "Scully, what is it you want? You're starting to
babble."

"Well, I'm going out to San Diego to visit Bill and Tara and I've also
been invited to my high school reunion and I was wondering if you
perhaps wanted to go with me, to the reunion, that is." Why is she
nervous? It's only Mulder, after all.

But he is listening now. He has stopped staring at his computer screen
and is now staring at her.

"Scully, are you asking me to be your date?"  His grin is slow and
wicked.

"I suppose I am, if you must label it.  I know my high school friends
are probably of no interest to you.  I'm comfortable going by myself,
but..."

"You just want to show me off," he finishes for her, smugly.  She
wants to smack him whenever he gets smug.

"Call it whatever you want, Mulder. We could both use a vacation. You
don't have to go."

She crosses her arms and waits. He will probably tease her a bit more
and then say no. He hates being pulled away from work. His whole
damned life is work. But so is hers. Maybe that's why this whole idea
intrigues her. They both should get away from work for a while.  And
she cannot shake the notion of going on a vacation with Mulder.

"I'll come with you, Scully."

"You will?"

"Sure.  How can I pass up the chance to learn more about your
mysterious past?"

"Well, um, ok, then.  Thanks."  She doesn't want him to know how
pleased she is at his eagerness.

He leans back in his chair and puts his hands behind his head.

"Scully, what were you like in high school?  I bet you were a good
girl."  There is that smirk again.

"Mulder, I wouldn't take that bet if I were you," she replies, staring
him down.

"Really."  He raises an eyebrow.

She decides to let him chew on that for a while and turns toward the
door. "I'll go tell Skinner we will be requesting some time off."

***

The bright San Diego sun reflects off of the hood of their rental car
and makes her smile.  She always enjoys the cloudless, azure
California sky.  She looks at Mulder, who squints against the same sun
because he has forgotten his sunglasses and is trying to read the
street signs so he can find their hotel.  She watches him behind her
own sunglasses. He was quiet on the flight out, which she chalks up to
the early hour rather than his mood. At least she hopes it is not his
mood. A gloomy Mulder is not something she needs to deal with right
now.

Mulder manages to locate the right street and pulls the car up to the
hotel entrance. He is surprised to see it is a real hotel and there is
actually a valet to park the car for them.

"Scully, you're going to spoil me.  This is nothing like our usual
digs."

This is nothing like our usual trips, she thinks.

"Mulder, I'm tired of funky motels.  I want this to be a vacation, not
more of the same.  And somehow I didn't think you would be comfortable
staying at Bill's."

"You're right about that, Scully.  Though I'm sure he's the one that
wouldn't be comfortable having me there."

"He never said you weren't welcome.  In any event, Mulder, I thought
this would be a nice alternative for a change."

"If you really wanted a nice alternative, Scully, you would have
booked us one room," he leers as they cross the hotel lobby.  She
pretends to ignore him and steps up to the front desk, but his remark
lingers in her mind.

***

She spends the day alone in her room, taking a catnap, followed by a
bubble bath to calm her nerves.  She has already called Bill and
endured a tiring conversation about why she has even brought Mulder in
the first place.  But Bill is a problem for another day.  Right now
she needs to get dressed and make sure that Mulder hasn't run off to
check out some occult bookstore and lost track of the time.

When she is as ready as she will ever be, she goes down to the lobby
to wait for Mulder.  He is, incredibly, on time and she watches him
stride from the elevators towards her.  She notices with delight that
he is wearing a tie she gave him for his birthday.  She also notices
the way his eyes linger over her body, checking out her figure in the
slimfitting, short black dress she's chosen.  She's dressed to impress
her classmates but she's apparently succeeded in impressing Mulder as
well, and that gives her an unexpected thrill.

The reunion is being held at another hotel across town. Finding it is
another story, however; Mulder struggles to make sense of the
directions she relays to him.

"Scully, why couldn't we have just stayed there? Would have been a
helluva lot easier than driving around in circles all night," he
mutters, after going the wrong way for three blocks and having to
double back.  Normally, Mulder navigates fairly well but tonight he
seems distracted. Not that she can blame him. She hasn't really told
him very much about her high school days. He's probably more
apprehensive than she is.

"That hotel is full, Mulder.  I called too late to get reservations
there."

"Why did you wait so long?" he says, irritably.  She has no response,
and is relieved when she sees they have finally reached their
destination and she doesn't have to give him one.

They locate the ballroom and she looks around, searching for familiar
faces.  The room is crowded and the sounds of conversation collide
with the music coming from the stack of speakers piled high in front
of the DJ.

"It's your show, Scully."  Mulder stands close at her side, waiting
for her lead.

She suddenly spies a woman making a beeline towards them.  Sylvia.  
Her best friend during her junior and senior years.  They lost touch
after they both left San Diego for different colleges on different
coasts. When was the last time she's had a close girlfriend like
Sylvia to confide in? Ages ago.

"Dana! I'm so glad you came! I was hoping we'd get to see you! I've
missed you." The two women exchange a warm hug.  Sylvia is tall and
ash blonde with careful makeup and simple jewelry.  She is pretty
without being flashy.  Sylvia introduces her husband, Joe, who is
short and slightly balding and replies to everyone with a grunt.  He
is apparently an attorney.  He is definitely not a classmate and
nothing like Sylvia's old high school sweetheart.

"What ever happened to Berwood?"

Sylvia laughs. "Who knows, I stopped seeing him after freshman year of
college.  Do you remember that bonfire on prom night? What an idiot.
It was all his fault.  Have you seen Marcus? He's here somewhere."

"Who's Marcus?" Mulder's eyes narrow.

"Marcus was.... I'm sure I told you about him, Mulder.  I was madly in
love with him for my entire senior year."

"Aha.  Maybe he's the one I need to talk to about that bet."

Sylvia studies Mulder.

"Dana, aren't you going to introduce me to your handsome...husband? "

"Uh, no, this is my-my friend, Fox Mulder. He's my partner at the FBI.
We work together," she adds quickly. Too quickly.

Mulder shoots her an annoyed glance, then offers his hand to Sylvia
with a smile.

"Scully's told me almost nothing about you," he says cheerfully.

"Thanks a lot, Mulder," she sighs.

Sylvia laughs again. "Oh there's plenty to tell, Fox. Dana and I were
inseparable back in high school.  During school, after school... we
shared everything.  Remember those silly legwarmers that everyone was
wearing back then, Dana?  They were all the rage.  I remember we drove
all over town trying to find some because the base PX didn't have any
and we just HAD to have them."

Mulder is intrigued.

"I never thought of you as a slave to fashion, Scully.  Did you have
one of those off-the-shoulder sweatshirts, too? Maybe you can wear
that outfit to our next stakeout. Sure would liven things up."

She rolls her eyes in reply.  Sylvia, on the other hand, is delighted.

"Dana, it sounds like your stakeouts are already pretty lively, with
Fox to entertain you."

"Oh, he's a barrel of laughs," she replies.  Before Mulder can conjure
up a smart-aleck response to this, a tall man barges into their little
circle.  Enter Marcus.

"Dana!  Dana Scully!"

He is still pretty good looking, she decides, though with a bit less
hair and a few more pounds. He has a petite blonde woman in tow.

It's great to see you!"  Marcus squeezes her in a bear hug.  She peeks
at Mulder, who is scrutinizing Marcus as though he were a potential
suspect in a mass homicide.

Marcus puts her down and gestures to the petite blonde.

"This is my wife, Judy."  Judy smiles gamely but looks like she would
rather be elsewhere.

"We got the kids safe at home, boy and a girl.  Sylvia! Great to see
you, too! This doesn't look like ol' Berwood!"  Sylvia chuckles at
Marcus' enthusiastic patter and introduces Joe.

Marcus turns from Joe and points to Mulder expectantly.

"Dana?"

"This is Fox Mulder..." she begins, but Mulder interrupts her.

"*Special Agent* Fox Mulder. Scully's partner at the FBI" he says
pointedly, without looking at her.  He must still be perturbed about
the way she introduced him to Sylvia.

"Ok, no husband.  Any kids we should know about, Dana?"

She cannot answer this question with simple words, and merely shakes
her head.

"Aww, damn shame. Well guess you'd better find that husband first."
Marcus shrugs.  Mulder steps forward protectively and she puts a hand
on his arm to stop him before he can say anything. His arm muscles are
tense under her palm.

"My work keeps me busy. I travel quite a bit." She tries to sound
plausible and head off any further questions about the children she
cannot have.  She feels Mulder relax slightly and she releases his
arm.

"What do you do? Oh yeah, FBI. That's right. So do you arrest bad
guys?"

"Sometimes.  Actually I'm a forensic pathologist."

"A what?"

"I'm a doctor. But I don't practice medicine. I perform autopsies."

"Dead people?"  Marcus grimaces.  "Ewwwww," squeals Judy. Joe grunts
and Sylvia looks impressed.

"It's how we work to solve our cases. We have to find out how the
victims die."

"What kind of cases?"

"We investigate unexplained phenomena," Mulder replies.

Marcus gives him a blank look. She tries to remember if Marcus was
this dense in high school.

"The paranormal. The supernatural, extraterrestrials--aliens," Mulder
says patiently, as if he is talking to a child.

"You mean UFO's and little green men?  You're kidding, right?" Marcus
frowns.

"Actually, they're grey." Mulder corrects him. She closes her eyes and
begins to think that maybe bringing Mulder along was a mistake. Why
didn't she just come alone? She could just tell everyone she is a
doctor and leave the aliens out of it.

"I get it, you're just pulling my leg! Good one, Fox!" Marcus laughs.

Mulder looks wounded.  He is used to skeptics but he hates being
laughed at.  Now she feels guilty for not speaking up for him.  He is
proud of his work and she can't expect him not to mention it.  And
it's her work, too.

They all stare at Mulder; she can tell he is deciding whether to start
an argument or make an escape.

"I need something to drink," he mutters.  "Scully, can I get you
something?"  Escape wins.  "No, thank you, Mulder."

"Scully? He calls you by your last name? He's a funny one, that guy,"
Marcus says to Mulder's departing back.

You have no idea, she thinks, but holds her tongue.

Marcus suddenly turns his attention from Mulder to the music that's
blaring around their conversation.

"Hey, Dana, remember this one?" he exclaims. "Judy, do you mind if I
take a turn around the floor with Dana here, for old times' sake?"

"Sure, whatever."  Judy replies with a bored yawn.

Marcus grabs her hand and escorts her to the crowded dance floor.  He
spins her around and as they make their way across the parquet, she
spots Mulder by the bar.  He is staring at her intently. She smiles at
him and he nods without smiling back.  Marcus twirls her away but she
can still feel Mulder's eyes on her.

The song ends. She and Marcus rejoin their group by the tables that
have been arranged for dinner.  Mulder returns the bar, chewing on a
stir-stick and watching her steadily.

"Dana, break time." Sylvia stands up and yanks her towards the
restrooms.  This is their old signal meaning "time for girl-talk."  
Sylvia scoots them out of the ballroom and down a hallway where they
find a quiet corner away from the crowd.

"So Dana, what is with you and Fox? What kind of a name is that,
anyway?"

"I have no idea. Ask his parents. I never call him that, actually."

"I noticed, and he calls you Scully.  Anyway, whatever you call him,
Dana, he has to be more than just your partner. I mean, the way he
looks at you."

"What do you mean?" Her face grows hot.

"He was watching you dance with Marcus. He looked like he wanted to
hurt somebody. Marcus most likely. That man was jealous!"

"Who, Mulder?" she scoffs.

"Yes, Mulder.  Go dance with him.  I'll know for sure if I can watch
the two of you," Sylvia tells her confidently.

At their dinner table, everyone is seated except Mulder, who hovers
nearby, still fidgeting with the stir-stick.  He looks relieved to see
her.  She decides to give Sylvia a chance to prove her theory.

"Mulder, I think I would like one more dance before dinner.  What do
you say?"

He no longer looks relieved, and shakes his head.

The music playing now is uptempo and bouncy. She takes his arm and
tries to steer him to the dance floor, but he resists her.

"Come on, Mulder, humor me.  It's my party."

"And I'll cry if I want to," he retorts.

The bouncy song finishes and the next song is much slower.  Mulder
suddenly stops pulling away and seizes her hand.  He draws her close
to him with one fluid motion.  She is too startled to say anything.

"I do better at this tempo, Scully."

He presses her against his body and begins to sashay slowly in a
circle.  She feels his arm around her waist; his other hand grips hers
tightly. Heat radiates from him.  She rests her head against his
chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing.  Her own breath
quickens and she closes her eyes. She feels intoxicated.

The music stops but Mulder keeps his arm around her and his hand tight
over hers and continues to rock her.  As the next song starts, fast
again, Mulder lets her go.  He takes a step back and bows.

"Thank you, Mulder. That was nice."  Why can't she breathe?

"Very."  His eyes are dark and serious.  Unnerved by his gaze, she
turns away from him.  He follows behind her and although they are no
longer touching, she still feels the warmth where his hands have been.

Dinner arrives, as does another couple.  She remembers them from
history class.  The reminiscing begins in earnest and lasts throughout
the meal as the classmates take turns recounting youthful escapades.  
Mulder listens to the stories in silence, and she suspects he is
storing the details away so he can torment her with them later.  He
continues to watch her with that unflinching gaze.  What is with him
tonight?  She is starting to feel like a suspect herself.

After dessert, she hustles Sylvia away from the table for another
pow-wow.

"That man is nuts about you, Dana. I have no doubt about it. And you
are nuts about him.  Don't look so surprised. C'mon, Dana. It's me. I
know it's been a long time but we used to tell each other everything.  
And I know what I saw on that dance floor. He can't be just a friend."

"Well, he is my best friend. We do spend a lot of time together. And I
trust him implicitly. I've been through a lot these past few years,
Sylvia, things I cannot even begin to relate to you right now. He has
seen me through everything. I don't really think about it that much.  
Mulder is just always there for me."

"But Dana, you shouldn't be thinking about anything.  How do you
*feel*?"

Before she can answer Sylvia, two squealing women swoop down on them.

"Sylvia! We have been looking everywhere for you!!"  With Sylvia as
their main target, they pay no attention to her so she quietly slips
away, back to the ballroom.  From the doorway, she sees Mulder
chatting with a woman that she does not recognize.  He cannot see her
from this angle so she uses this opportunity to admire him from afar.  
Her body tingles at the memory of that dance and his touch.

Suddenly she feels territorial and she quickly walks over to claim
Mulder from this woman. For herself.  There is something incredibly
satisfying about the way he looks up at her when she says his name.

The evening winds down.  She mingles with more classmates, but there
is no more dancing with either Mulder or Marcus.  Mulder remains
fairly silent, keeping his comments in check and resorting only
occasionally to a bad pun or two.  She hopes that he is not sulking
about something.  She decides she has done enough time traveling for
one night and tells Mulder she is ready to leave, but first they must
say goodbye to her friends.

Marcus gives her a peck on the cheek in farewell.

"Someday I want to hear the stories about those little green men,
Dana."

"They are grey, Marcus," she chides him.  Mulder looks amazed.

She and Sylvia hug and promise to stay in touch.

"Email me, Dana. I am on that computer every damn day.  I want to hear
from you," Sylvia orders, then turns to Mulder and gives him a hug,
too.

"Terrific meeting you.  Please take care of Dana for me... Mulder,"
Sylvia adds with a wink.

"Always," he replies, solemnly.  The tone of his voice makes her
shiver.

***

Riding back to their hotel, she reflects back on the evening.  
Interesting does not begin to describe it.  It was terrific to see
Sylvia again and she hopes they can really stay in touch.  And
Marcus--what on earth had she seen in him back then?  He's so very
different from...

Mulder slams his hand against the steering wheel, wrecking her train
of thought.

"Damn it!  Where is that goddamn hotel?"

"Mulder, you missed the turn.  Are you lost again?"

"This blast into your past has apparently dulled your skills as an
investigator, Scully. It's obvious that I don't know where the hell
I'm going. You're the one that used to live here. Help me out."

She watches the street signs go past and spots one that is familiar,
though it is not the one he is looking for.

"Mulder, turn here."

"This doesn't look right, Scully."

"It's not the hotel, Mulder. You'll see."

He makes the turn onto a quiet street.

"Ok, now what?  Where are we going?"

"Slow down. There should be a sign...yes, there."

He slows the car down and she spots what she is looking for: a large
floodlit stone sign for Mira Mesa High School.  She points out the
sprawling grey buildings.

"This is my high school, Mulder.  Let's stop here for a minute,
please?"

He parks the car in the lot; they get out and stroll toward the main
building.  The softly glowing security lamps provide enough light to
guide their way.

She stares at her alma mater for a moment. She knows she is a long way
from the days of Marcus and her senior prom.  Her life has taken a far
different path from the one she set out on when she left high school
behind.  College, medical school, a practice somewhere, a husband, a
family. After medical school, everything had gone topsy-turvy.  But
would she trade any of it?

They approach the front door. Mulder pulls on the handle but the door
is locked. She sits down on the low stone wall that flanks the
doorway.

"This is where I used to sit and wait for Marcus to finish his last
class. We used to study together after school."

"I bet that's not all he was studying," Mulder growls.  He has his
back to her and appears intently interested in the brickwork.

"Mulder, it was nice to see Marcus again, but he was just a high
school crush, nothing more. After spending time with him tonight, I
could never see myself having a lasting adult relationship with
Marcus."

"Why do you say that?" he turns to face her.

"Well, among other things, he's just not very challenging."

His eyes have gone dark again and they are like magnets, drawing her
in. She feels raw; he is opening her up to expose her soul.  And she
wants him to.

"Scully, do I challenge you?"

"Every day, Mulder" she can't help but smile, even as her heart
pounds.

He sits down beside her on the stone wall. Very close. His thigh is
warm against hers.  He takes her hand and entwines his fingers with
hers.

"Scully. About that bet."

"I told you not to take it, Mulder.  I'm surprised you didn't
interrogate Marcus."

"Oh, but I did Scully. You forget you and Sylvia spent half the night
in the ladies' room. I had plenty of chances to have a chat with ol'
Marky Boy."

"Then you know you lose that bet, Mulder"

"Wrong, Scully. I win."

He leans in and kisses her. Tenderly. Lusciously. The warmth gives way
to white heat.  She knows she would rather have this man, who believes
in aliens, than a man who merely laughs at them.

Mulder breaks the kiss and takes her face between his hands.

"What do we do now, Scully?"

"Keep collecting on that bet, Mulder," she murmurs, pulling him close
for another kiss.

Finis

Notes: Written for the Haven's September School Daze Challenge. CC's
timelines give me a headache, so I've purposely kept the time period
of this story vague.  But it's most likely Scully's 15-year reunion,
if you do the math.

Feedback welcomed! Encourage, discourage, it's all good!



### The End ###