Title: Stranger Things Have Happened Author: Sara Magee E-mail: Silk1023@aol.com Rating: PG Classification: MSR Spoilers: Never Again, Small Potatoes Keywords: Summary: XF/Red Shoe Diaries Crossover: What would happen if a frustrated Scully met Jake and he looked (suprise) like a clone of Mulder... ***Here's a little story (my view) of what would happen if Dana Scully met Jake and he happened to look (imagine that!)like her one and only partner. Add in a bit of M&S UST, some serious Angst on all three parts and a bit of hope....for Jake and M&S...probably the romantic in me coming out... Let me know what you think, all responses appreciated! Enjoy!!*** I'd rate it PG for serious M&S and Jake angst...but nothing really bad...it's just a romantic story of hope (and after RSD and some of those XF episodes) I think they all need it!!! Send comments to: silk1023@aol.com Stranger Things Have Happened A...Will Pay Top $$$ for your experiences, please send diaries to...Red Shoes, PO Box 7596-315, Canoga Park, CA 91309. All submissions strictly confidential. The ad caught Agent Dana Scully's attention, she wasn't sure why, she just happened to look down at the paper and there it was. Agent Mulder and herself had been investigating an X-File in California, and were on their way back to D.C. Both were tired, and a little out of sorts, seeing as they'd really unearthed no answers to their questions. AWhat's new there, Scully thought to herself, Alike so many other aspects of my life and this job, too many unanswered questions, too much guilt, too much regret... Tearing herself out of these meditations, she picked up the paper she'd grabbed as she boarded the plane, it was something to read on the way home, at least she wouldn't have to try to make conversation with Mulder, who was still in one of his Aleave me alone Amoods. When she'd finally gotten settled, and Mulder had dozed off in the seat next to her, she pulled out the paper, flipping through it almost unseeingly, until, out of the corner of her eye, she caught the ad placed by ARed Shoe. AWomen, do you keep a diary? the ad read, AHave you been betrayed? Have you betrayed another? Man, 35, wounded and alone, recovering from loss of once in a lifetime love, looking for reasons why... The ad brought a lot of thoughts to Scully's head. The whole Ed Jerse thing, how unsatisfying he had been, Mulder's comments on that disasterous affair, how much it had hurt her to hear him say those things about her and her life, more than she cared to admit, at least to him. She also thought of the petty jealousies she'd felt, whenever a tall brunette with a big chest looked at Mulder or any female over the age of 20 cast a glance his way. Feelings she'd been able to hide from him and those around her. She thought her mother might have picked up on these things, lord knows she was always getting on her case to invite AFox over for dinner, or to do this or that with AFox... AStop it Dana her mind yelled at her, Adon't go there. But as she pulled her thoughts back to the present, the thought of answering the ad kept her awake. AThis ad, it could fit me, she thought, Aoh, I know that since Mulder and I aren't >physically involved underneath it all, I still feel like I've betrayed him, cheated on him...I wonder if this ARed Shoe person would think my story was one he wanted to read? ACome on Scully, she thought to herself, Awhat's gotten into you? It's just a stupid ad by someone who wants to be a voyer into other peoples pain, obviously they can't get over something that was done to them... why am I even considering this? AScully, the low voice came from beside her. AWhat's wrong Mulder?, she said as she quickly folded the paper over so he couldn't see she'd been looking in the personals section. ANothing, he replied, almost sheepishly, A just wondered if you had any iced tea or something to drink in your bag, I'm really thirsty. AOh, she said, reaching under the seat for her bag, AI think I might have something....here you go... She grabbed the first bottle she felt in her bag, pulling it out into the light, and gave a strangled gasp as she realized what it was. She looked over at Mulder with a strange expression on her face. AWhat, he asked, looking at her like she was crazy, Asomething wrong with it? ANo Mulder, she replied as she handed the bottle to him and said in a strange voice, Ait must be love, it's iced tea. AHuh...., his expression was blank for a moment, before a slight smile broke over his mouth, Aoh, well, we're getting better at this, I always liked iced tea better than root beer. AYeah, right, Scully replied, Aanything else I can supply you with? she asked, her voice now stilted. ANo, not right now, came his reply as he pulled out a file and buried himself in it. Letting out her own sigh, she turned to face the window, thinking how different this little conversation could have been.. AOh stop it, she scolded herself, Ayou're making too much out of this, sure things have been a little awkward since Eddie Van Blunt and the whole Jerse thing, but he could at least try to make some conversation, I even miss his humor, but no...he barely talks to me anymore. Somethings wrong here and I don't know how to fix it. AScully...Scully, the name floated to her through the mists she was drifting in... AMulder? she managed, slowly waking up. AIt's time to fasten that seat belt, we're landing, he replied. AOh, okay, Scully sat up, trying to orient herself, quickly fastening the belt. Again, another memory of how he used to wake her up with that soft touch on her cheek after she'd fallen asleep on those countless stakeouts. She couldn't hide a sigh at those thoughts. AYou look tired Scully, Mulder said, giving her a slight smile, Awhy don't you go straight home and get some rest, I think we both need it after this trip. AYeah, I think you're right Mulder, she said, Asure you don't want to get something to eat before we head home? You must be hungry, we haven't eaten yet today. ANah...I think I'll just head home and hit the sack, I'm really not that hungry, maybe some other time, he said, not looking at her, shuffling his papers back into his case. ASure, some other time, she said, feeling her heart drop as the plane's wheels hit the ground. In the airport, Mulder quickly claimed their bags and headed her towards a waiting taxi. They both climbed in, told the driver their respective addresses and settled back into the seat. Silence reigned between them as the cab sped through the midday D.C. traffic. When they reached Scully's house, Mulder got her bag out of the trunk, and told her to Aget some rest, I'll see you tomorrow. ASee ya... she replied as she watched him get back into the cab and head away. AWhy do I feel like I've lost my best friend she thought forlornly as she trudged up the stairs to her building. AStupid, stupid Dana, she said to no one, as she entered her living room, dropping her bag by the door, she didn't seem to have the energy to do more than that. She collapsed on the couch, thinking of...okay, she'd admit it, at least to herself...that stupid ad. For some reason, she couldn't get it out of her head. Today's events didn't help matters either. AThis is really a bad idea she thought, but she found herself looking for pen and paper, Abut what can it hurt? Maybe things will be clearer if I put it down on paper, maybe... With those thoughts, she started writing. ***************** Jake grabbed the stack of mail in his box, noticing that there was just as much as usual. AGuess the number of Awomen's diaries are still growing he thought, almost cynically to himself. He closed the box and headed for his apartment. When he arrived, he dumped his coat on the kitchen counter, sat down on one of the stools and began looking through the letters to find one that interested him. AAm I getting tired of this? he wondered to himself as he looked through the stack of envelopes. Wait, what was this? A plain letter, nothing fancy about it...but it smelled like peaches. For some reason, that caught his attention, reminding him of Alex maybe? He opened the envelope, and began to read.... Dear Red Shoe, I don't know why I'm writing this, call me crazy, I don't even know if I'm what you'd call a Ared shoe, but I thought maybe I'd feel better telling you my situation. I'm work for the FBI, I'm a doctor, but I also investigate strange cases, of strange things, but that's not important. What is though, is the person I work with, my partner, Fox. We've been together as partners for almost five years now, and we've come through quite a lot, you could say, more than anyone would think humanly possible. He's saved my life many times, as I have his. We've never taken the relationship as anything other than partners, he's my best friend, and the only person I trust in this world. You know, I think I really truly, no I KNOW I really truly love him. But I'm afraid my own insecurities and doubts, and maybe unfulfilled desires have messed up any chance of a Aromantic relationship. A few months ago, I took a break from our job. I was fed up with my partner going off on cases himself, leaving me behind (all to Aprotect me of course, but still...) And he'd been saying I needed to take some time and relax. Well, I met someone, I was actually investigating him, and he seemed to me to be what I was looking for. Dangerous, a little rough, not like anyone I'd been around recently. I slept with him, and while I admit, I got some pleasure out of the whole thing, it wasn't anything great, I guess it filled a need of some sort. He could be almost violent with me, I guess I kind of liked that unpredictable aspect, but after it all, it didn't work. He was, well, to put it mildly, obsessed with someone else and not someone I really wanted to be with. My partner however, told me that while all this was going on, (he was away you remember) he had a vision of some sort, of me and this guy about to have sex, I admitted to him I'd become personally involved, and for some reason, even though we don't have that kind of relationship, I felt I'd betrayed him. I think he felt the same way too, and ever since then, he's not been his normal self with me. Sometimes, I find myself thinking of the little pleasure I got from this encounter, but then the feeling of betraying Fox comes in full force. Needless to say, other little things have happened, and our relationship has gotten worse. I'm so confused, I don't know what to think, where to turn or what to do. I feel like I had the most wonderful man, or was just getting to the point where I could have him, and then I blew it all for a spur of the moment, impulse. I don't know what to do, I've finally admitted to myself I love him, yeah, I've made some mistakes, he's made them too, but you know, underneath it all, he's truly the most wonderful, kind, loving and generous man I've ever met. But I don't know if I can ever tell him that now, if he'd even want to hear. So, there's my story, not exactly the worst, but not the best either. Maybe in some way this will make you feel something, (what I'm not sure) I guess I just needed to tell someone how I'd screwed up, and your ad...well, it made me think. I hope you found it interesting, I don't know if I feel any better, but at least its done. Now I guess I see what I can make of my life. Dana Scully Jake patted the head of the dog at his side, entranced by the letter. It called to him, he didn't know why, it just did. AAlex felt that same sense, that same confusion, he murmered to himself, stroking Stella's fur absently, Amaybe, maybe I can help her, and get some absolution for myself if I talk to her. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing as he headed for the phone, dialing information and asking for a Dana Scully in the Maryland area. He got the number he was looking for, and, after staring at it for a few moments, took a deep breath and dialed the digits. ********************* The phone rang at 1:13 a.m. in Scully's apartment. AMulder was her first thought, as she grabbed for the phone, a little lift to her heart. AHello.... she waited for the inevitable AScully to come through the wires. ADana Scully? came the voice, not quite the same as Mulder's but close, close enough to make her sit up straight in bed and ask in a somewhat sleepy voice, AMulder? ANo, came the reply, AI'm Jake, the Red Shoe Man. She started to say something, what she wasn't sure, but she was too tired for this, Alisten, whoever you are... He cut her off, A please, forgive me, but I just read your letter, and, and well, I really felt like I needed to talk to you....please... his voice sounded so soft, and she was sure she detected some form of pain in the words. she thought as she sat up a little straighter. ASo, Jake, Scully replied, still not quite sure what to make of everything, Ayou read my letter, do you call all the writers of the stories you get? ANot usually, Jake replied, liking the soft tone of her voice, Abut your letter, well it touched me, made me think you might want to talk to me, I believe I can see both sides of your story, it's remarkably like what happened to me and my fiancee. Intrigued by now, all thoughts of sleep gone, Scully decided it might be good to talk to a stranger about all her problems and strangely, Scully felt comfortable with the voice AOkay, you've read my story, what is it about it that caught you? What happened to you? she asked, curious to know more about the voice in the night. AIt's a long story, Jake sighed, Abasically, my fiancee killed herself because of the guilt and confusion she felt over having an affair. She loved me, of that I have no doubt, but she was, I don't know, attracted by the feeling of Acontrol this other man gave her, he was something different from me, I guess, she said...she said, his voice faltered a little bit, Ashe said I was too good to her and for her. AI'm sorry, Scully murmered, really begining to feel spooked by the story. It was so close to what she seemed to be feeling, well, she didn't quite know what to make of it all. AThat's why I started the ARed Shoe ad, Jake continued, AI guess to hear about others out there suffering the same pain, to know I'm not alone. AAre you sure it's not just a fear of moving on, Scully said softly, her doctor's instincts on alert, Adon't you think it might be time to move on with your life? AI don't know Dana, he laughed gently, Asorry, may I call you Dana? It just seems more personal with a 1 a.m. phone call. AOf course, she smiled at the phone, Aonly if I can call you Jake, Jake. AFine, came the reply. ASo, you read my letter, and you think I'm like your fiancee, Scully said, wondering where this was going, and curious to find out. AI'm not sure, Jake said, a hint of sadness in his voice, AI think, from your letter, and even your concern about me, someone you've never met, you really love this Fox of yours, and maybe, I don't know, maybe if you heard my story, we could both find some kind of resolution. AHummm.... Scully said, AI don't know, maybe if we both could talk to each other, if you could tell me everything about your relationship with your fiancee...her affair, and her death, maybe by talking about both our situations, I could understand what I feel, and do something to make things right with Fox, and you could resolve your feelings about your fiancee. AI'd like that Dana, he replied through the phone, Ayou ever get out to California? AFunny you should ask that, she smiled again at the phone, Abut we just returned from a case out there, and I've got some leave coming to me, maybe I should take it and head back out there for a few days? AYou'd be welcome, I have a huge two bedroom apartment, Jake quickly added, ANo pressure but maybe if you could see how she lived, how I lived, read some of the things she wrote in her diary, maybe you'd come to see that there is a chance for you and your partner. AI think, she took a deep breath, AI think I'd like that. AOkay then, Jake said, Awhy don't I give you my number and you can call me when you get into the airport, and I'll come pick you up. AAll right, Dana said AI'll be out sometime in the next few days, if that's okay with you. AI'll talk to you then, he said, Athank you Dana. AFor what? she asked. AFor not hanging up on me or treating me like you should any stranger who calls you in the middle of the night was his reply. ADon't worry, I seem to have a lot of experience with late night phone calls, she said with irony in her voice, AI'll let you know when I get in. AGoodbye Dana. AGoodbye Jake. Scully hung up the phone, took a deep breath and tried to figure out how she was going to explain this one to her partner, and her boss. Jake hung up the phone and looked at his dog, Ashe's actually coming, he murmered to himself, and then he too headed for his bed, a smile on his face for the first time in a long time. *********************** AYou're going where? Mulder's voice startled Scully as he came into their basement office. ASo, you heard, she said, AI'd hoped I could tell you myself. AOf course I heard, he said, irritation in his voice, AAgent Scully willingly asking for a few days off to take care of some personal business, the entire office is in shock at this news, you honestly think I wouldn't have heard about it as I came in?? ASorry Mulder, but it sort of came up suddenly, and you weren't in when I went to talk to Skinner. AOkay, okay, he said, his tone softening a bit, AI'm sorry, I just kind of thought you'd tell me before you took some leave, is something wrong with your mom? Or your brothers? ANo Mulder, Scully looked at him, Athis is something that I have to do for myself, it's personal. APersonal, he said, a slight frown on his face, Ayou won't tell me anything about this, is something wrong? worry in his voice now, Aare you okay Scully, is everything... AMulder, I'm fine, she replied, noting his wince at the phrase, AI just need to get away for a few days, the stress and, well, everything is getting to me. AEven me huh... said in an even softer voice. AMulder, relax, I'll be back in a few days, you take some time, relax, we need this break, I'll be back before you know it. AWill you at least leave a number where I can reach you? he asked in a hesitant voice. AOkay, she relented, Abut don't use it unless it's a dire emergency, I'll explain it all when I get back, okay....I need you to trust me on this one. AI do trust you Scully, he said in a low voice, Ayou're the only one I trust. AI know, she said and smiled at him. ABe careful, he said, looking straight into her eyes, Aand if you need me.... AWhy Mulder, her heart skipped a beat, AI thought you didn't care about my personal life. AWell, you're my partner, I don't want to see you hurt. this was said under her breath. AWhat? he asked looking up. ANothing, she replied. ALook, I'll see you in a few days, okay? AOkay Scully, have a nice trip, wherever your going. She waved good-bye, turning for a last look at him, and almost stopped at the look in his eyes. It was a look of confusion, hurt, and somewhere in there, could it be, loss? With a last look back, she headed out the door. After she left, Mulder sat and stared at his desk for a long time. AI've really screwed it up now, she won't even tell me where she's going, he said to himself in a voice of loathing. AWhat the hell do I do now? ********************* Scully got off the plane, feeling tired, the same flight twice in three days really could get to a person. She headed straight for a pay phone, and dialed Jake's number. After a few moments of conversation, he was on his way to meet her. AI hope you know what your doing, she thought to herself, AI hope you know what your doing. ********************* AI hope I know what I'm doing, Jake thought to himself, AI really hope I know what I'm doing. He entered the airport, looking for a short woman with red hair, that's how she'd said he'd recognize her. He suddenly felt someone staring at him, and turned around to see a slight, red haired woman staring at him in shock. ADana? he said going towards her, ADana Scully, is that you? AM...Mulder, came the quivering reply, Awhat are you doing here, how'd you get here, are you following me...what... her eyes were shocked. ADana, it's Jake, he said, quietly wondering what was wrong, Aare you okay, you look like you've seen a ghost. AJ..Jake, she said, Afunny you should mention that, you are Jake aren't you? AYes, he said with a smile, Adid I startle you? AOnly in the fact that you're a dead ringer for my partner came the reply with a slight, shaky, smile, Ayou gave me quite a shock, I thought it was him for a moment. AReally, I look like your partner? he said as he guided her across the terminal, taking in all that was Dana Scully, he thought to himself. AYeah, I'll have to show you a picture. AOkay, my car's right over here. Jake got her settled into the car, and came around, climbing into the drivers seat. ASo Dana Scully, welcome to California...again he said with a smile. AI don't know what I'm doing here for sure, she said, answering with a smile, the shock finally beginning to wear off, Abut maybe, maybe it is fate that brought me here. AI guess we'll see, settle back, relax, it's about 20 minutes to my apartment. AOkay. She closed her eyes and laid her head back against the seat, strangely, after the shock of seeing what could have been a clone of Mulder, she felt more comfortable than she had in a long time. *********************** The first thing to greet her when she stepped into Jake's apartment was a huge, furry dog. AHi there, she said, leaning down to pet it, Aaren't you a pretty dog...I once had a dog.. she trailed off, thoughts of Queequg in her head. AThat's Stella, Stella say hello to Dana, Jake said, looking at her, Ayou okay? AYeah, nice place you've got here, she was looking around now, the memory pushed back down, amazed at the miniature models of a ship, skyscrapers, a basketball court.... Adid you design it yourself? AYes, I'm an architect and builder. AOh, that explains it. AHere, I've put you in the guest room, why don't you freshen up, and I'll make some coffee, or would you prefer iced tea...it's my favorite drink. AOh really, Scully said, thinking this was more than strange, Acoffee for me I think, thanks Jake. Scully looked around the room she'd been given. Bright, spacious, but...lonely, she thought. It looked forlorn, like no one lived in it or cared about it. AHow sad she thought to herself as she headed towards the bathroom. ************* AI thought that went well, Jake said to the dog, Ashe's more than I expected, a lot more. There's an inner fire, vitality, something tells me this one won't do what Alex did, maybe that will be what can save me, maybe she can make me understand. Laughing at his thoughts he poured himself a glass of iced tea and Dana a mug of coffee. She came into the kitchen, looking refreshed and a lot better than after her first glimpse of him. AMay I see a picture of your partner? Jake asked, AI'd like to see this resemblance. Scully pulled out a picture she'd put in of Mulder, not a great one, but one her mom had taken at last Thanksgiving dinner, a picture she'd on the spur of the moment decided to bring with her to California. AMy God, Jake said, drawing in his breath sharply, Ahe could be my twin, amazing. AYeah, I wonder if you're related in some way. AI don't think so, I think I'd know about it if I had a twin out there. AStranger things have happened, believe me, I've seen them. ASomething tells me you have Dana Scully, something tells me you have. After sitting themselves on stools around the kitchen counter, the talk turned to each others work, his building and designing, her FBI cases, doctoring, etc. She even told him about the X- Files, somehow she thought he'd understand. AWell Dana, it sounds kinda far out there, but I guess, as you said, stranger things have happened, maybe someday you'll find the truth. AWhat did you say? she asked quickly picking up on the last few words. AWhat, that you'll find the truth, Jake said to her, Awell, yes, I guess I've always believed the truth is out there, I'm searching for my own version of it, I guess. AYou know, maybe you are related to Mulder, Scully mused, Ayou two certainly think alike. AWell, you know what they say about great minds Dana....Jake teased and Scully laughed. ATrue, Mulder would say something like that too.... AWhy do you call him Mulder, in your letter, you referred to him as Fox? AOh, we established that at the beginning of our partnership, it's gotten so it feels comfortable, she said, then smiled, Abut I like the fact that you call me Dana, it's nice for a change. AHappy to oblige, he said and clinked his glass with her mug. In the course of the next few hours, they moved over to the couch, talking more about their lives, work, problems, and finally, Mulder and Alex. By now, all the tension had drained out of Scully and she found herself relaxing for the first time in a long time. Jake, for the first time, opened up to someone about all the pain and anger he felt at Alex's suicide, and the guilt and betrayal which overshadowed everything. He told her about the basketball game he played that almost turned into violence with Tom, the man Alex had had an affair with. He told her about his reading the red diary and how it felt to learn Alex was having an affair, and he told her about the Ared shoe letters he'd collected, reading them to try and not feel so alone. Then it was Scully's turn. She told him about the first time she walked into the basement office and saw Mulder sitting there, the worry and anguish he went through while she was missing, the worry he'd felt dealing with her cancer and wondering who they could trust. She told him how Mulder was the only one she trusted, and loved, and she told Jake how much it hurt that she'd felt she betrayed her partner with Ed Jerse. She told him about the confusion, the fear, her pain, losing her father, thinking she'd lost Mulder, losing Melissa... She told him more than she'd even told her psychiatrist, and to her amazement, it just came out. No embaressment, hesitation, or even awkwardness. It all poured out of her, and Jake listened, not saying anything, handing her kleenex when needed, offering a soothing word when necessary. After all had been talked out, both stopped and looked at each other, then broke into laughter. AWhat a pair we make, Scully said with a smile, Aboth of us feeling guilt, anger, betrayal, and the loss of love so deeply, but not being able to talk about it to anyone, until we found each other. AStranger things have happened, Jake said again, feeling good for the first time in a long time. ASo now what, Scully said, looking at Jake. AWell, he said, AI think you need to decide if you really want to work things out with Fox, you have to tell him what you just told me. Don't keep it inside, that's what your doing Dana, and chances are, that's what he's doing too. Look, I can't presume to speak for your partner, but if he's feeling anything like I felt after Alex died, he's not going to say anything to you, he probably figures you don't want him anyways, and what good would it do him. You have to talk to him, tell him that you love him. ABut that's risking everything, she told Jake, Amy heart, my life, my career, my pride...what if he doesn't love me, or want me? ADana, Jake said, looking straight at her, Ait sounds to me like he's in love with you too, but just as unsure of how you feel...yes, he might feel betrayed, but underneath it all, at least in his case, different from mine, he knows you had no committment to him at the time and I bet he feels just as guilty about it all. Talk to him, it's the only way you're going to work it out... AI suppose your right Jake, she said with a sigh, Abut it scares me, and you know, I wouldn't admit that to anyone except Fox, and now you. AI know Dana, Jake said, Abut sometimes, you have to face that fear to reap the rewards. And you deserve it, for yourself and Fox. AAnd what about you Jake, Scully turned the tables on him, Awhat about your Aobsession with everyone else who's been done wrong or is doing wrong, you need to stop dwelling on all that pain and guilt, you need to move on with your life, find someone out there who can accept your love and you being who you are. AI know, but sometimes, I guess it's easier to just wallow in the misery rather than put forth the effort to change my life. ANow who do you sound like? Scully said with a smile, Ayou know, if you take some of the advice you've just given me, you'd be a lot better off I believe. AI know, I guess, it's just hard to stop after all this time. AYou have to you know, she said quietly, AIf you don't, you'll end up killing yourself. AI know, he replied, AI guess I just needed to hear that from someone who understands. AWell, you found her. ANo, we found each other... and if circumstances had been different... AI know Jake, Scully smiled softly and put her hand over his, Aif things had been different, I could have fallen in love with you, but that's not how it's meant to be. I need to go back and talk to Mulder, and you need to go out and live life again. AYeah, I just wish you lived a little closer Dana, he said with a soft smile. AWell, now that we've become friends, and you know more about me than most people, I think we're going to stay in touch, Scully said, smiling. AI'd like that, and I want you to promise me something Dana. AWhat? APromise me that we'll keep in touch, and if ever either of us feels the need to talk, about anything, we'll call. I don't want to lose you now that I've found a friend like you Dana. AI promise Jake, I don't want to lose your friendship either. ASo, now what? he asked her. AWell, I'm hungry, why don't you take me out and show me what California has to offer in the way of food. ASounds like a plan. *************************** Back in Virginia, later that night, Fox Mulder was lying on his couch, trying to get into one of his infamous videos. AThe ones that aren't mine echoed in his head as he thought of Scully's amusement each time he said it. AOh Scully, what have I done to us? Two days without his partner, and he felt like he was going through withdrawl. He didn't eat, he couldn't sleep, and for the first time, no X-File could keep his attention. All he could think about was where she was, what she was doing...and...who she was with. That upset him the most. Something told him, he didn't know what, just one of his instincts, that she was with some guy. AWell, what did you expect after the way you've been treating her these past months he berated himself. He thought back to his dream and having Scully confirm she'd slept with that jerk...and the whole Eddie Van Blunt mess... AIt should have been ME he cried to himself, Ashe should have been with ME. Sure he'd felt betrayed, he knew he had no right, and he knew he shouldn't take it out on her, but he couldn't help himself. He loved her, he always had...it hurt him terribly to know she'd been with someone else. Still, all he knew was he wanted her back, with him, forever. AOh Dana, he whispered into the air, Aplease come back to me, don't let me have lost you too... The video wasn't working, so he turned it off. Instead he thought of red hair and full lips....and drifted off to sleep. ********************** Jake was standing next to Dana, waiting for her to board. They'd had a wonderful evening, going out to a dinner/dance club, then to a small coffee house for late night drinks...things he hadn't done in a long time. It felt good, it felt really good. For the first time, he realized he wasn't feeling terrible about Alex. AJake, Scully said, turning to him with a smile as they called her row, Athank you, thank you for everything. ANo Dana, thank you, he said, Ayou wrote the letter. AWe're both going to be okay, you know that don't you? she said. AYeah, I know, I think we're finally healing. You make sure you talk to Fox, don't hold back, tell him everything, I think you're going to be one very happy lady. AI hope you're right, she said, Aand if I am, it's thanks to you. ANo, it's thanks to us both, Jake said, Ayou'll let me know when you get in, and you'll keep in touch? AOf course, I want to know how you're doing, what's happening in your life, and when you meet the right person, I'll be there to listen. Jake pulled her to him, hugging her, breathing in the peach scent of her hair. She hugged him back, thinking for just one quick second, that it could have been Mulder holding her like this, with this tenderness. Hopefully, it soon would be. If she had the courage. AGood-bye Jake, I'm going to miss you. AI'm going to miss you too Dana. She headed up the ramp. ADana he called. She turned around and looked back. ADana, if for some strange reason, it doesn't work out with your partner..... AI'll give you a call Jake, I promise... she called back leaving him with a smile. AThat is one hell of a woman, Jake thought to himself as he watched her red head disappear. Turning away from the counter, he actually smiled, and started whistling as he headed back towards his car. ************************** The knock on his door came at 11:21 p.m. AMulder? Mulder are you home? Mulder, it's me. AScully, he thought, his heart speeding up as he headed for the door, Ashe came back. AScully, he said, opening the door and letting his partner in, Aare things okay, everything taken care of? AYeah, it's done, she said softly, dropping her coat onto the couch, AMulder, we need to talk. AI know Scully, I know, he said as he sat down next to her on the couch. AScully... he started. ANo Fox, she interruped, quieting him with a hand over his mouth, Alet me. AI went back to California for a few days, I had to see a man who I'd written to after a personal ad I'd found in the paper I picked up when we were there. He was in a lot of pain, he'd lost his fiancee to suicide and he was looking for other peoples stories of betrayal and heartbreak...to help him feel not as alone. I wrote him, telling him what I'm going to tell you, and he called me, our situations being more alike than we realized. ADana he started again... AShhh....let me say this, she gathered all her courage up, looked him straight in the eyes, took a deep breath and said... AI told him how I felt I'd betrayed you with Ed Jerse, how I felt like I'd cheated on you and how upset I was by the fact that you were treating me like I had. I know we don't have that kind of realtionship and I had no reason to feel like that, but I did. I... she took another deep breath, and said it... AI love you Fox Mulder, I think I have from the moment I saw you. And when I thought you'd thought I'd cheated on you, it nearly tore my heart out. I know I had no reasons, except that I'd felt left behind, and scared and angry at you. I didn't feel anything for Ed, and I'm sorry he's caused us so many problems. But after spending a few days with Jake, and hearing his story and how his fiancee felt the same, he made me realize that all that mattered to me was you and that if I didn't tell you how I'd felt, I'd truly lose you, and that's the one thing I can't let happen. I need you Fox William Mulder, I love you more than I ever thought I could, and I can't live without you. She let out her breath in one big rush, not having the courage to look up into his eyes yet, afraid he'd see the tears in hers. ADana, his voice, so soft, his hand reaching to tilt her chin up, ADana, look at me. She raised her tear filled eyes to his face, shocked at the...yes, love, she saw shining from his eyes. ADana, I've loved you since the moment I met you. Yes, I was jealous, and yes I did take it out on you, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, all I ever wanted to do was keep you safe, protect you, and all I did was drive you into another man's arms. All I've ever wanted since you walked into my office, is your love. You're the only one who believes in me, in the hope I have of finding Samantha, of my theories, you may be sceptical but you listen and don't call me cray you're MY truth Dana, one I thought I'd lost. ABut you haven't she said, tears in her voice, Abecause I'm right her, and I love you. AGod, Dana, I love you so much it hurts. With that, he brought his lips down on hers and kissed her with all the passion and love he'd been holding back for the last five years. She melted into him, relaxing against his body, taking in his scent, his hands in her hair, his tounge in her mouth. They finally pulled apart, smiling into each others eyes. AStay with me tonight? he asked her. AI wouldn't want to be anywhere else, she replied, snuggling into his arms. ************************ The next morning, Scully woke up, smiling at the strong arms that held her close. AFox, she murmered. ADana, he said with a smile, Awhat? AOh nothing, just...I love you. AI love you too. A few minutes later... AFox? AYes? AYou don't by any chance have any relatives that ever lived in California, do you? ANot that I know of, why? he asked in a sleepy voice. AOh, just wondered, you really have to meet Jake someday, she said with a smile, AI think he'll suprise you. AWell, I'm looking forward to meeting the man who helped us get things straight, who knows, maybe he'll find someone to help him heal as well. AI think you're right Fox, I think you're right. ACome back to bed, we've still got a few hours before work. AOkay. She snuggled back into his arms and both of them drifted back to sleep. THE END.