Title: DeadAlive 2-Nothing Else Matters  Author: Soleil 
Compeau 
Summary: The importance of the partnership 
Keywords: M&S friendship, Character death, Songfic 
Rating: PG13 for language 
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They are 
the sole 
property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and the Fox 
Network. No 
copyright infringement is intended. Lyrics from Metallica's 
"Nothing Else 
Matters" also used without permission.  
Author's Notes: Please don't flame me for this one. What 
I'm trying to do 
is track Scully's progress through the holidays, as well as 
show her in 
the stages of mourning: denial, anger, bargaining, 
depression, 
acceptance. Scully has hit Anger in this fic.  
 
 
 
A sharp rap on the door startled Scully; then she 
remembered what day it 
was. She opened the door and looked at the gaggle of small, 
solemn 
children. One Sleeping Beauty, one gypsy girl, a Batman, a 
zombie, and in 
the back, a little boy dressed as an alien. "Trick or 
Treat!" they 
chorused in unison. 
 
"Here you go," she murmured as she placed mini candy bars 
in each bag. 
When they left she sagged against the wall. That alien 
costume had 
rattled her. She wondered if Mulder had enjoyed Halloween 
as a child. He 
had certainly enjoyed it as an adult. He often teased her 
about the 
supposed X-Files associated with Samhain. 
 
Scully strode into the kitchen with jerky movements, barely 
in control of 
the strong emotions gripping her. She didn't want to think 
of Mulder 
right now and decided on a soothing cup of tea. When it was 
ready, she 
tried to stir in a dollop of honey, but her hands shook 
badly and she 
burned her fingers. 
 
"Goddamn it!" she screamed and hurled the mug against the 
wall. It 
shattered, of course, and the tea made an ugly stain on the 
wall. "I HATE 
YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!" 
 
Scully stomped around the rooms she had existed in for so 
long. Her 
upstairs neighbor, the one who always played his music too 
loud, was 
listening to heavy metal. Good. I'm in the mood for 
something violent, 
she thought. Scully snapped on her stereo and twisted the 
dial savagely 
until she found the right station. 
 
I've been turning to music a lot lately. Must be the Mulder 
in me coming 
out. No! I don't WANT any Mulder in me! Her hand drifted 
over her 
stomach, down near the pubic bone where her uterus was. Bit 
late for that 
Dana Katherine, she scolded herself. 
 
"OK, that was Whitesnake's "Still of the Night." Next up, 
we've got some 
Metallica for you after this short break." 
 
Scully pulled awkwardly at her sweatpants and T-shirt while 
half 
listening to the advertisements. Her body felt heavy and 
ungainly. Her 
waist had thickened and her breasts were fuller and more 
sensitive. She 
wasn't quite big enough for maternity clothes yet. The song 
came on and 
she listened raptly. 
 
So close no matter how far 
Couldn't be much more from the heart 
Forever trusting who we are 
And nothing else matters 
 
Never opened myself this way 
Life is ours, we live it our way 
All these words I don't just say 
And nothing else matters 
 
Trust I seek and I find in you 
Every day for us something new 
Open mind for a different view 
And nothing else matters 
 
Never cared for what they do 
Never cared for what they know 
But I know 
 
 
As the song began to repeat, a dull fury swept through 
Scully. This 
person might as well have been singing about her 
partnership with 
Mulder! 
The fury boiled over. 
 
"Fuck! Fuck you Mulder! Oh, you've really done it this 
time. You've 
pulled off the ultimate ditch." She snatched up the picture 
of Mulder she 
had shown to Absalom just before he was found and addressed 
it with 
hatred in her eyes. 
 
"Was that damn spaceship so important Mulder! Why? Why did 
you leave 
me 
behind? WHY?" Scully crumpled the picture into a ball and 
flung it from 
her. Being only paper, it fluttered harmlessly to the floor 
without 
making the satisfying thud she wanted to hear. She grabbed 
one of her 
dining room chairs and rocked it hard against the floor 
again and again. 
She understood now why Mulder had banged his computer table 
when she 
told 
him about his mother. It felt good to exert control over 
something, even 
something as stupid as thumping wood against the floor. 
 
"Shit." Scully's strength finally gave out. She clung to 
the back of the 
chair, panting a bit. More children were knocking on her 
door. She didn't 
want to deal with them. Bad enough she was pregnant. Bad 
enough she 
had 
no father to help with her child. Bad enough she had been 
penetrated by a 
test tube instead of a man. She and Mulder hadn't 
completely worked out 
the details of their agreement concerning the baby when he 
was taken. Yet 
another thing he had failed her in. Bastard. 
 
Scully decided to go to bed. The trick-or-treaters would be 
disappointed, 
but Scully needed the blessed ignorance of sleep to forget. 
Mulder had 
ditched her again, and there was no way to save him this 
time. God knows 
she had tried.