April 2001 Title: Why? Author: Soleil Compeau Summary: What they might have been thinking during that conversation in his apartment. Rating: PG13 for use of the "F" word Category: Vignette Spoilers: Three Words Disclaimer: Not only am I shamelessly using Chris Carter's characters without permission or hope of profit, but they seem to be faring *better* at my hands. Dedication: Teresa, I owe this angst to your great theories about the dynamic duo's dysfunctional fits and starts concerning their baby's conception. Why Scully? Why did you pray for my return? You're obviously doing fine without me. You're so fat and beautiful Scully. Your hair is longer. You're glowing. Your face is so...open. I can't look at your pregnant belly without hurting. I thought you wanted *me* to give you a baby. When you asked me to donate, I was thrilled. I thought it meant you wanted me in a more permanent way, a more...intimate way. We failed, and I felt all your losses at my hands even more deeply. The night we made love, I felt absolved, forgiven. Why did you leave in the morning? Why did you continue without me? Who's the father Scully? He must be some anonymous donor. You have too much class to ask *Skinner* to donate for you. I'm jealous, I confess. I wish I had given you that miracle. Why don't I feel any joy at being home? ------------------- Why Mulder? You don't know where you fit in? Don't you want this baby with me? When I approached you about being a donor, you were surprised, but then you seemed as excited as I was. When we failed, you seemed as sad as I felt. You told me to never give up on a miracle. Why don't you accept this miracle, Mulder? I missed you so horribly. Why aren't you happier? You're having trouble processing? Oh God, you think I'm fat. You don't really want a baby, do you? You figured it would be one quick trip to the clinic, and your guilt at all my supposed losses would be absolved. Did we make love, or did we just fuck? Why aren't you happy about being at my side again?