From: X-Phan Date: Mon, 6 Oct 2003 13:49:48 -0700 (PDT) Subject: New Story: Almost Genius by X-Phan Source: direct TITLE: "ALMOST GENIUS" BY: X-Phan E-MAIL ADDRESS: xphan1013@yahoo.com RATING: PG-13 CLASSIFICATION: SR, H, Story, Romance, Humor TIMEFRAME/SPOILER WARNING: Set after Mulder returned and while Scully was pregnant. KEYWORDS: MSR SUMMARY: An attempt at solving a minor mystery. ARCHIVE INFO: Can be archived anywhere as long as my name, address and disclaimer stay intact. FEEDBACK: Please email me with any comments, reviews, constructive criticism, etc... DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and the characters of Mulder and Scully belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will be gained. BETA-GIRL'S NOTE: While you're at it, could you please solve the mystery of why guys always leave the toilet seat up? ___________________________________________________________ The X-Files: "Almost Genius" by X-Phan Dana Scully's Apartment: "Wow," said Mulder as he rolled off her. "Yeah, wow." Scully replied, catching her breath. "Actually I wasn't talking about the sex, though that was pretty great too. I meant, wow, I think I just solved one of the great mysteries of the universe." "Come on Mulder, I know a lot of men have trouble finding it, but I'd hardly call it one of the mysteries of the universe. It IS right there. You just have to get a woman properly aroused to coax it out." "Not that Scully, I'm talking the origin of life... creation," he said rubbing her pregnant stomach. "Or at least the difference between men and women in regard to it." "Huh?" "Did I ever tell you about how I believe fantastic sex allows my mind to tap into cosmic energies? It's like being able to reach a higher plane of consciousness where I can gain insights into the universe to which I otherwise wouldn't have access." "I bet I would have remembered you mentioning that." "Well it doesn't happen all the time." "I think that might be for the best." "So don't you want to hear the theory that could possibly change the world?" "You have to understand I'm sceptical, but I will hedge my bets in case your hypotheses are published and you win a Nobel Prize. Therefore I'll remind you to give recognition to the fact that I was the portal through which you were able to ascend to this plane of enlightenment." "For the sake of our continued blissful relationship I'm going to take your statement at face value and ignore the slightly sarcastic tone over voice. I'm also going to tell you anyway. The secret of life is something men have searched for throughout history. Not what it is made of, but what it is, how groups of elements and chemicals can become life. We've looked to the sky, the oceans, the stars, other planets, different religions, even within ourselves and we still don't know what it is that causes this miracle. Now women, Scully, women don't need to look elsewhere. Women have it inside them. They can be content because although they may not know what it is, they have physical proof that an answer exists. Women have the power to create life. Now, men know this too and men are curious about anything we don't understand. Like little boys, we wish to discover these secrets women have inside them. We do what our instincts drive us to do. We attempt to divine the answer in the only way we know how -- by poking it with a stick." "..." "Don't you see Scully? It explains men's obsession with sex." "That's amazing Mulder." "You really think so?" "Yes. It's amazing that something can be so incredibly deep and so incredibly silly at the same time. It boggles the mind." "Can't you see the simple elegance of my logic?" "I think you do the concept of logic an injustice by equating your argument to it. Since I'm already playing devil's advocate, may I be so bold as to ask for some proof, a mere shred of evidence to support your 'stick' theory?" "But Scully..." he whined, "It's self evident." "Of course it is dear." She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "As long as I'm being patronized can I ask one more thing?" "Certainly." "Can I poke it again?" The End ___________________________________________________________ Even I don't know what that was, but there it is. Comments and criticisms go to xphan1013@yahoo.com.