TITLE:     CONTEMPLATION
AUTHOR:    XPHILERNJ
E-MAIL:    xphilernj@aolcom
RATING:    PG
CATEGORY:  MSR
CLASSIFICATION:  V, A
KEYWORDS:  Skinner
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them.
SUMMARY:  I sit alone contemplating my life up until now.

* * * * 

Here I am, alone again.    Alone in a darkness of my making, 
but not entirely my choosing.   The moonlight shining, peeking 
through the slats of the window blind is the only light that 
brightens my dismal world, this moment in time and space.  I 
sit alone contemplating my life up until now.

Time.   So much has been lost through it's dark and lonely 
passageways to a destination unknown and unforgiving.  I think 
of friends lost along the way.  I think of those that have chosen 
to become my friends through blood, sweat and tears. 

Loneliness.  A choice made long ago by shadows and dreams. 

Tears.  Forever a river that runs deep and dark within my soul, 
spilling into a well that never seems to fill.  Too many.  Not 
enough.

Dreams.  Shattered like glass among the ruins by half truths and 
lies.  I walk through these broken pieces and salvage what I can.
I cannot give up.  I won't give up.  It is not in me to do so.

Truths.  Never to be taken at face value again. Truths, I now pick 
apart, analize and only then do I hesitate.  Hesitate to believe.

Fear.  A truth I never wanted to face before.  Fear of the unknown.
Fear of losing a battle I know I cannot win.  Fear of not finding
the one friend I lost and of another because of that loss.  Fear is
a feeling I have tried to learn to live with and know I cannot
control.

I sit alone in a darkness with the hope that soon the light of 
truth and justice will once again light the path I must now walk.  
A path that is no longer straight and true.  A path that will one 
day lead us to a world no longer ruled by fear of the unknown.  

Then and only then, will I smile once more. Something I had never 
comtemplated before.

* * * * 
A little dark and angsty.  Another challenge that I have 
ellaborated on. Hope you like.  xphilernj@aol.com  Feedback always 
appreciated.